Tag Archives: Pseu-duh-tva

Jumbo King takes on Mcdonalds

I came across this print ad over the window pane in a Churchgate fast the other day.
The print ad is from Jumbo King. The branded vada pav vendor seems
to have rolled up his sleeve to match it up with Ray Croc’s networking burger franchisee. I had once spoken to Ms Gupta (founder of Jumbo King) regarding an event sponsorship and she politely declined, emphasising that they target the railway commuters and promote their brand much in and around the railway stations. I can say , they have lived upto the claim , but branded themselves around the Mcdonald’s theme.

Looking at the red and yellow theme of the print ad above very few would be reminded of McDonald’s, but moving ahead to the tag line “always loved it!” with an inverted “M” from McDonalds; there would be very few who would not be reminded of the burger brand that is currently using the tag line “I’m loving it!”
After 4 crore vada paavs (burp!) being sold, do we get to see another desi -multinational acquisition?

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed are solely the author’s and are subjective.They are not intended to influence,offend or hurt anybody living or dead.The articles may have a tendency to be satirical and or sarcastic.

Mean Machines are passe now.

TOYOTA PRIUS

I really can’t say whether it is Just in Time manufacturing or sheer brilliance that gets Toyota another hit : PRIUS .
Prius is a hybrid built from scratch unlike most other cars which have hybrids as evolved models.
NYT reports that Toyota has already recorded a sale of more than 400,000 in such a short span of time.
It is such a
phenomenon that its brand value is metaphoric with the yellow, blue , white “Live Strong” rubber wrist bands.
Currently the
PRIUS is priced at approximately $22k and is poised to give a mileage of approximately 50 gallons per litre.



THE iPOD OF CARS


The FIAT
Cinquecento is coming back!
The
Cinquecento was the Elvis of its times and if it FIAT has its way, the new version of this three-door car to be launched at its 50th birthday will be the ipod of cars (are you there Mr Ghosn? And yes Mr. Jobs, you can certainly stick the feather)
Cinquecento (earlier , the FIAT 500) was akin to MUL’s 800 in terms of bringing about a market transition from two-wheelers to affordable 4-wheelers. If rumours have it, its going to be priced at approximately $ 13.5k
Well if its gotta be the
ipod of cars the it needs to be presented atleast like a Yashraj flick and Fiat knows how to do this well and beyond.In addition to the exterior design of the Cinquicento ,they’ve come up with this uber cool portal that boasts not only of a chic and sexy look but is also loaded heavily with stuff that’ll get the ooohs and aahs out of the first time clicker.
So
heres me signing off quoting the website punch-header : “500 wants you”
(I want her too, 500 times :P)

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed are solely the author’s and are subjective.They are not intended to influence,offend or hurt anybody living or dead.The articles may have a tendency to be satirical and or sarcastic.

CAMPUS PLACEMENTS and the SOFTIES

The sixth semester ends and there starts the official drive for on campus placements for the engineers : a part of the promising future of our country.
Talk about placements and the first thing that comes to your mind is the Top Five Software conglomerates :
TCS, WIPRO, INFOSYS etc. often nicked as ‘bulk recruiters’
I’d been for one of their
Pre placement talks (PPT), but before going in for that lets talk about Pre PPT scenario.

These Software giants are perceived differently by different people:

a) If you are from an IIT, then you’ll give the “huh?- I-dint-get-you reaction when asked about placements in these companies.
b) If you are from an NIT, then you’ll get the question, but promptly
reply that its not prestigious for you to get in there (you know better)
c)If you are from any other local engineering college, then this is mostly going to be your first job (and probably your final one,on campus) taken from job-security point of view.
d) If you are a parent, then its a prestige issue that your lad works in here (you certainly have the following facts & figures:turnover,employee base,business verticals,presence in different countries
et all.

Coming back to the PPT, since I’m from a non-IIT/NIT institute, this company was confident of getting a wholesale deal struck here (offcourse with bulk discounts and other perks). When you know you have the market then you tend to loosen up a bit and so was this one , a bit unorganized in their presentation skills.
A confident bloke tried to challenge them and asked the golden question’ why do you recruit such masses?’ He got back:” Well, we have an ever expanding business and we are always in need of freshers” -Thanks to the ever increasing attrition rate and headhunters.This explains the reason why he made two contradictory statements:
a)”You all have the freedom of choosing your career paths: be it a domain or a vertical of your choice”
b) you’ll be able to chose your domain/vertical after establishing considerable (4-5years) time in the organisation.”
I say he was a smart guy: he knew the folks were dozing until he reached the ‘compensation’ slide.
I liked their attention seeking technique of starting off with an audio visual ad campaign and winding up with a ‘this-is -the
kewlest-place-to-be’ movie ; for which almost 75% of the junta fell in.
But I did not, as i constantly told myself: “You are here just for the
PPT. Not to get placed!”

But the truth is that sooner or later, I’ll be placed within one of it’s competitors and you might just hear my mom say ‘Mera beta ABCDeeeee mein job kartaa hai

Dear mom. And dear me.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed are solely the author’s and are subjective.They are not intended to influence,offend or hurt anybody living or dead.The articles may have a tendency to be satirical and or sarcastic.

ROBO-KAAND

Whiling away my precious PL(prep leave) morning over the myriad newspapers I have subscribed to, I came across a little piece :a pseudonorm that said ”South Korea plans Code of Ethics for Robots” : The scarcely populated country which comprises of old people (unlike ours which is heavily populated with a good proportion of young blood) would have new citizens 10 years down the line. These robots would also be guarding the delicate border separating the nation with North Korea.

Recently Prof Warwick (the first man to have a chip implanted in his body) had come down to India giving a series of lectures on the importance of implanting these chips .Prof. Warwick predicts that the world will be full of robots in the next 25-50 years and so to survive , one definitely requires these chips that could keep man still superior over his creation.

So, the next-gen cool kids won’t be the one’s who’ve got pierced at odd places, but the one’s who’ll have implants at maybe even places. To add to it, they might even carry tags saying “Powered by XYZ Corp.” This seems to be an excellent brand building tool complimenting the much sought after evolution of mankind. Especially when R&D work is being done on building intelligent robots who can take their own decisions, there’s a lot more to see for the current young guns and off course their kids (that’s if they reproduce humans instead of bots)

If you haven’t sensed the sarcasm above, let me brief you about the preventive measures proposed to the much dreaded future (only witnessed in Sci-Fis): Coming back to the South Korea article, they’ve set up a team of esteemed scientists, lawyers and doctors to come up with a set of rules that would prevent android (human look alike robot) abuse and define the relationship between man and these machines. They might even consider Issac Asimov’s (sci-fi author,”I,robot”) laws laid 60 years back:
a) Robots may not injure humans or allow harm to come to them
b) Should obey orders given by humans (not overriding the above law)
c) Must protect their own existence (not overriding the above 2 laws)

It is difficult to understand how exactly these laws might be inherited if these robots are to guard a country’s border, however, I give the benefit of doubt and wait for them to come up with their set of laws.
Laws made would possibly differ among nations and might lead to the setting up of an international federation of Robotic rights and proliferation (I’d prefer a kewler name though) and the then superpower would decide the fate of this creation that may have just evolved out of the human fetish for owning slaves.

I feel I’m virtually on my way to build my first work of fiction and eventually perform a fast Fourier transform of the nightmarius-producto-hormones in side your cerebrum (or is it cerebellum?) , so preventing any further deflection on my guilt-o-meter ,I take your leave ; but do ponder.

Pseudonormicks copyright 2007
The views and opinions expressed are solely the authors’s and are subjective.

OF NEW YEARS AND MORE


Come 31st of December and it’s a boom time in the economy as the junta is all geared up to rock their way into the new year .The streets are full of banners speaking more about the coming parties than the new IPO or the sale at Shopper’s Stop. Every one has plans to make up or speak up and “What’s on the 31st?” is the talk of the town. Whatever be the logic or let there be none, its simply a PARTY TIME !!
So lets chk out some more popular kinds of parties on the New years eve:

1)The crowd racker party (CRP)
This is the most popular one among the typical folks who want their stuff on the platter. From 5-star hotels to the gully pubs everyone wants a year-end bonus so each one of them has something in store for you. Belly dancers from Yugoslavia ,a hot gal DJ, cuties doing flair at the bar you name it and they have it for you. They’ll charge you prices proportional to their brand values and you pay just to get into an over-crowded neon lit place short of food but overflowing with vodka!! And here is where the people booze their way into the new year.

2)The private house party (PHP):
This one is more often done by the folks who prefer having a ball and holding it too 🙂 . They book a bungalow by the beach or have it at their place if its big enough. Only close friends/family invited. Make sure to be there as these parties always treat you big without burning a hole down your pockets (unless off course if you’re hosting it). In certain places friends go dutch to host such parties and customize every aspect of it.

3)The lukha party (LP)
Don’t feel like getting into the crowd? No invites for PHP either? Hey get your bike out on the road (but make sure only after 11pm) and vroom your way through .
These parties are the ones that add to the chaos on New years eve with increasing traffic every year. Well its usually full of stags and some cozy couples in search of that privacy.

4)The spiritual party (SP):
These ones comprised of those grown up above boozing and more into the new year. These types of parties are meant for ppl who believe that a new year is a new beginning. They enter the new year meditating/singing bhajans/chanting hymns et all.

Now that we’ve talked about the new year parties lets get in to the numerous new years that we celebrate. Surprised!! Hey Im not talking crap but its just a fact that in a single year (according to any calendar) we do celebrate more than one NEW YEAR.

1)The English New YEAR:
Celebrated universally on the 1st JANUARY. This year the new year arrived a second late (GOOD LORD !!))

2) Your Birthday:
Many treat their birthdays as a new beginning and so this is like a new year again. People make resolutions just to put them away (you’ll know why later).

3)The Regional New Year:
Various religions/castes have their own traditional new year. For Eg: The Guddi Padwa for the Maharashtrians, Cheti Chand for the Sindhis, Baisakhi for the Sikhs et all.

4)The Diwali New Year:
Popular among the Indians, this New year is marked a day or two after Diwali , which is celebrated by one and all in India and also by some folks abroad.

To sum it up there are four major NEW YEARS in a year with four different popular ways to party it out. So if you’re weak enough in math you’ll find a minimum of 16 reasons to party out . Another peculiar point is that on an average, a new year arrives in 1-4 months time . So, if one makes a new year resolution one has to compulsorily break it to make a new one for the next new year and that’s why the adage goes ”Resolutions are made to be broken up”

Hmm if you’ve observed carefully, I’ve answered an important question asked by many across the globe. So what say ? Feel free to name the award that comes to your mind.